Domestic tobacco, Ukraine

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A soldier stands at the post... A major passes by and says:
- Well, soldier, are you standing?
- I'm standing!
- Did you have breakfast today?
- No.
- The lieutenant colonel will go, you will say that he had breakfast.
- Yes for sure, I will say! Passing lieutenant colonel:
- Are you standing, soldier?
- I am standing.
- Did you have breakfast today?
- Had breakfast.
- Did you have lunch?(//tractor-service.com)
- No, I didn't have dinner.
- The colonel will go - you will say that he had lunch.
- Yes for sure, I will say! A colonel passes:
- Are you a soldier?
- I am standing.
- Did you have breakfast today?
- Had breakfast.
- Did he have dinner?
- Obedal.
- Did you have dinner?
- No, I didn't have dinner.
- The general will go - you will say that he had dinner.
- Yes for sure, I will say! Well, finally, the general is coming:
- Well, soldier, are you standing!?
- What should I do, comrade? general, GORGEOUS AND STAND MYSELF...